139667

Joke of the Day

"Why don't they have any casinos in South Africa? Because there's too many cheetahs!"

"*pushes vending machine over NO YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!"

"[hits rock bottom] rock bottom : *calls 911 for being assaulted*"

"Aw, I would love to keep up with the Kardashians. But being a 'pregnant-solar-powered-douche-magnet' is an art form I haven't yet perfected."

"I woke up this morning frightened because my penis had turned completely ORANGE! But then I calmed down when I remembered I was eating Cheetos in bed last night."

"If a tree falls in the woods and the wife's not there to witness it, it'll be my fault when i get home."

"I've been supporting Tyler Perry since the beginning... I have all of his plays and movies on bootleg."

"Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? From trying to blow out lightbulbs."

"Best joke in soccer right now. Mexico's national team."

"It's ironic how the people that take a picture of themself in the mirror can't see how stupid they look."