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Joke of the Day

"I bet nobody noticed Superman flying around at first, so Clark just started pointing out every bird and plane until it caught on"

"How do you comfort a grammar fanatic? There, they're, their."

"Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There's liquor and you can't hear them."

"Honey, I have good news,and bad news Which one do you want to hear first? -Tell me the good news. -You' re gonna become an aunt."

"Not afraid of death anymore because I just woke up from a nap I didn't even know I was having."

"So it's the first of October. I wonder if anyone remembered to wake Green Day up?"

"A police officer sees a kid on the street.. He says, ""Its getting late kid, shouldn't you be getting back to the orphanage?"" Kid says, ""I guess so, what gave me away?"" ""Your parents did."""

"My 6yo daughter's teacher just gave me a ""Most Improved Ponytail"" award."

"I leave notes around the house to remind me of things I need to do, like ""Pick up milk"" or ""Pay gas bill"" or ""Stop wasting your life away"""

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like a choir boy."