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Joke of the Day
"Not afraid of death anymore because I just woke up from a nap I didn't even know I was having."
Next Joke
"People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties."
"Wearing sunglasses inside is a great way to let people know that you should be hated unconditionally"
"Have you seen the special message written at the bottom of a condom when you roll it all the way out? Me neither.."
"I guess now we'll never know if they were identical or fraternal twin towers :("
"Yerr a unit of power Harry! Im a watt?"
"How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him."
"What three things does a woman need to do an oil change on her car? Two boobs and a man"
"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment... When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute."
"General Contractor: Don't worry ma'am, everything will be ready, we'll have the scaffolding set up and erected. Me: *mutes phone* hahahahaha"