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Joke of the Day

"Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There's liquor and you can't hear them."

"A bear and a rabbit are both taking a shit in the woods The bear says, ""Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"" Rabbit: ""No, not at all."" So the bear wipes himself with the rabbit."

"The Macarena began playing through the dental office speakers as I lied helpless with the hygienist's hands in my mouth today. #survivor"

"What do you call a Mexican with a broken lawnmower Unemployed"

"As we enter 2015, it's refreshing to see that racism no longer exists in the US. Black people can now be anything they want to be As long as it's the President or shot."

"Obama: Joe, look. Full moon Biden: What? TONIGHT? *starts shapeshifting* Obama: Joe? Biden: AARRGHHH *Gore kicks door down* Gore: MANBEARPIG"

"I am starving and horny. This cucumber is going in me one way or another."

"What did Chewy say after episode VII? I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo solo"

"What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree? Camembert!"

"How do you get ""Dick"" from ""Richard""? You ask him nicely"