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Joke of the Day

"My mind is always on fast forward while my body's in slow motion. I'm just like that channel where the sound is out-of-sync w/ the picture."

"Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year? They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom."

"I guess you can say Eagles of Death Metal's fanbase is really blowing up.."

"Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts."

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? He didn't either."

"The only thing harder than diamonds a redneck at his family reunion"

"Why was 4 afraid of 5? Because 5 was a Registered Six Offender. Edit: a word."

"And YOU get a vegetable pod! And YOU get a vegetable pod! And YOU get a vegetable pod! And YOU get a vegetable pod! ~ The Okra Show"

"My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, ""Is that the best you can do?"""

"How do you know your man is cheating? When he drives by her place the wifi connects"