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Joke of the Day
"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? He didn't either."
Next Joke
"What's the scariest path? The psychopath"
"HYPNOTIST: YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY ME: kinda safe bet there HYPNOTIST: YOU WILL DANCE LIKE AN OCTOPUS ME: again, still no surprises."
"Why should Steve Irwin have put on sunscreen? To protect himself from the harmful rays."
"A GoFundMe, so I can buy an avocado."
"I have been having a lot more threesomes as of late. Ever since my wife got pregnant."
"When I die, I might have an open casket funeral. Remains to be seen."
"When skinny girls say ""I'm so fat"" to fish for a compliment from me, I just agree."
"A protected acct with 0 followers just followed me. Mom, is that you?"
"If you ever feel silly for being on Twitter just remember there are people on national television asking ""ghosts"" questions."