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Joke of the Day
"Me: My leg always feels like my phone is vibrating. WebMD: Phone Cancer"
Next Joke
"How do you get Lady Gaga to leave you alone? You Poke-r Face."
"Sorry, my dog ate your text message."
"I bought a timeshare on a racehorse. It's a nightmare."
"Did you hear about the confused question mark? He couldn't figure out how he got a period."
"So I went to the mattress store and tried laying on one of the Temper-Pedic mattresses. I was impressed."
"What's the first step in making Bronco cookies? Beat em in a bowl for three hours."
"I am not sure NSFW should apply here, because I am not convinced any one on twitter actually fucking works."
"If at first you don't succeed, GREAT. Now you know not to waste your time on that ever again. Fuck that shit. Lesson learned."
"Political Correctness is out of hand You can't even say ""black paint"" anymore, You have to say ""Tyrone, please paint my fence."""