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Joke of the Day

"So I went to the mattress store and tried laying on one of the Temper-Pedic mattresses. I was impressed."

"Do you know Forest Gump's Facebook password? 1Forest1"

"What is 34.5? 69 for midgets"

"Difference between a gay guy and a microwave? A microwave won't brown your meat."

"What does The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common? Icy dead people"

"What idiot called them Ex-fiancees' and not 'Near-Mrs' ?"

"If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours."

"What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the other? I didn't know we lived on the same block."

"If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner it's usually about 90 degrees."

"""Interested in mail enhancement?"" Me: u mean 'male' enhancement ""No. [whispering] what if I told u I could get ur mail like so fast bro"""