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Joke of the Day

"Dove: Dad, what's my name mean? Me: It's the symbol for love Swallow: What about mine? Me: Umm, true love."

"School says strangers are handing out lick on LSD tattoos. I told my kids not to worry, no one is giving out good shit like that for free"

"Do you like tapes and CDs? Other person: Yes Me: Good, so I can tape my dick to your forehead so you can see these nuts."

"What do you call a militant whovian A **whooligan**"

"Dear America: it's called English for a reason. They invented it. It's not ""English"" spelling. It's correct spelling... This is a subtweet."

"*shows up at your work* ""Hi, it's me. From the internet."""

"What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college? Bye-son"

"My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks"

"I bet the ""YMCA"" dance is harder to do in different languages."

"So I'm banging this guy from behind... ... and he turns around to kiss me, and I say ""Whoa, buddy. I'm not gay!"""