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Joke of the Day

"How do you get Lady Gaga to leave you alone? You Poke-r Face."

"On April Fools Day a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack."

"Dopted Dad: Have you seen an animal named Dopted? Son: What's a Dopted? Dad: You are. You're adopted."

"PSA: Always tip your prostitutes. Small tips are fine. That's what they get paid for."

"Sneaking into your house and eating just enough of the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms to make you sad, but not suspicious."

"My new flesh-light is dishwasher safe! Not sure why my roommates are opposed to it?"

"Anyone who's ever stood in a busy McDonald's line at 10:29am not knowing what to get has been closer to getting murdered than they realize."

"Girlfriend caught you looking at another woman? Turn to your girl and tell her that you're glad she doesn't dress like that."

"What do you call a Muslim on a plane. The pilot, you racist bitch."

"Best Classic Joke Ever... So Seinfeld says ""What's the deal with airline food!?"" LMAO"