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Joke of the Day

"My terrible dinosaur joke... Two dinosaurs are walking across a deserted valley, when one says to the other, ""Do you think we're alone out here? I Spinosaurus."""

"How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black"

"It's really hard to explain that your eyes are really red from allergies and not weed when you're buying cupcakes and a pound of Doritos."

"What's the program jedi use to read pdf files? Adobe wan kenobi"

"Not right now green light, I'm taking a selfie."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear."

"Me: Hey lady, you can't park there. Her: I'm just running into Starbucks. Me: Oh shit, my bad. Laws don't apply to you then."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? Nobody will pay money to watch a lentil."

"Why is ten afraid of nine? Because nine ate seven! *heh heh*"

"How many clones of president Obama does it take to change a lightbulb? What a stupid question: Obama won't change jack shit."