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Joke of the Day

"How many clones of president Obama does it take to change a lightbulb? What a stupid question: Obama won't change jack shit."

"I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis."

"They should make a tabletop game about space marines saving for retirement Call it Warhammer 401k"

"Why did the feminist burn down the field of canola? She said she was defending herself against rape."

"I wear lipstick when I go into Walmart so people know I'm not approachable or one of their kind"

"*hot lady looks at me* Me: Hi! Do I know you? Lady: No I think I'm mistaken. *awkward pause* Me: So...is there a mister taken? *hit by bus*"

"chik-fil-a employee: It Would Be My Dying Wish To Serve You, Great Lord me: I just want some nuggets man cfa employee: I Would Die For You"

"Psychologists say that the left half of the brain is responsible for both kleptomania and numeracy. It's the taking part that counts."

"What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? How was your date with Chris Brown."

"I like my coffee like an excellent slave Black!"