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Joke of the Day
"How many ears does Spock have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear."
Next Joke
"The first rule of thesaurus club is... You do not talk, speak, communicate, orate, or converse about thesaurus club"
"I love timelines that are 100% unanswered tweets @ celebrities. It's like reading letters to Santa."
"My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark."
"Why do pedophiles like to play guitar? Because it's completely ok to finger A minor"
"A man is like a spider.... when he is on the web, he is bound to get his hands sticky...."
"Why can't you trick an aborted baby? Because it wasn't born yesterday."
"2 atoms walk into a bar One atom says to the other, ""Oh no, I've lost an electron!"" The other asks ""Are you sure?"" To which the atom replies, ""I'm positive!"""
"First rule of brown girl club: Don't wear pink & white striped shirts; you'll look like Neopolitan ice cream."
"What was I like in high school? You know that guy who drove a Camaro and banged all the cheerleaders? I'm the reason he passed calculus..."