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Joke of the Day

"Me: Hey lady, you can't park there. Her: I'm just running into Starbucks. Me: Oh shit, my bad. Laws don't apply to you then."

"Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)"

"Where the hell were these teachers that bang their students when I was in high school?!"

"Hot girl in the avatar, but no selfies in your pics. I'm just gonna call you ""bro"" from now on."

"What did storm say when she saw wolverine chopping wood? That's a huge axe man!"

"What do you call presents after you've opened them? Pasts"

"Remember not to laugh at your ex wife's choices. You were one of them."

"My lesbian neighbors got me two fake Rolex for my birthday.... I guess they misunderstood when I told them I wanted to watch"

"How did they come up with Canada's name? Well first they picked a C, eh. Then an N, eh. Then a D, eh."

"Your mamma's so fat when she goes to McDonalds they ask her what she doesn't want"