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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference... between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza? ~A large pizza can feed a family of four."

"Go hard or stay average"

"I don't trust a restaurant that advertises ""Now with more bacon!"" because it means they were holding out on me to begin with."

"My gym sent me home for following their motto it's confusing, they need to change it to ""go hard and go home"""

"Three ways to tell if you're dating an Octopus: 1. They give awesome hugs 2. They have no skeleton 3. Every date is at the aquarium"

"Two reddit admins walk into a bar [deleted]"

"Well, that didn't work. Anybody need 1000 custom candy hearts saying ""Threesome?"""

"Did you hear about the kid who died in the school freezer? Apparently he was ""too cool for school""."

"I will NEVER make the same mistake twice ... In a row. They're in rotation."

"What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal? A polar bear"