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Joke of the Day

"Go hard or stay average"

"You're all great. Or suck. Actually I'm going to need you to sort yourselves into two orderly rows."

"Are you all right? No.. You are all left Ahah is joke"

"Why is Stephen Hawking successful? He can't run away from his responsibilities."

"Nickelback's career is dead... They are more washed up than a Syrian toddler."

"Just saw a fat dude lick pizza grease off his shirt so that's the last time I eat in front of a mirror."

"My cat is walking a very fine line between being cute & being sold to the Korean restaurant down the street."

"Mom: Wear your jeans! There are too many mosquitoes outside. Feminist daughter: Don't teach me what not to wear. Teach the mosquitoes how not to bite."

"What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin"

"I failed the drivers test even though I stopped for the sign I gave it plenty of time to cross, it's not my fault I hit it."