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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal? A polar bear"
Next Joke
"""Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk.""n""What makes you so sure?""n""He is a penguin."""
"I stopped going to the beach because people kept mistaking me for a corpse and poking me with sticks"
"The police almost arrested a man for wanking to a caution sign. But he got off with a warning."
"What's the difference between a man's balls and Jehovah's Witnesses? There's none. They both knock on the door, but never goes in!"
"The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number."
"An unsung legacy of Bill Clinton's presidency is that since he left office, no sitting President has shot a load on a non-spouse."
"If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them"
"Turn a man down for sex, he gets over it. Turn a woman down? Oh. My. God."
"My German friend told me to pick him up dry wine. I brought the bottle to his house and he said, ""Thanks, where are the other two?"""