18708

Joke of the Day

"Three ways to tell if you're dating an Octopus: 1. They give awesome hugs 2. They have no skeleton 3. Every date is at the aquarium"

"If online bullying has taught us anything..... It's that people would sooner hang themselves than lose a bit of weight!!"

"What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One. One to bitch about it so a white knight will do it for her."

"I've been running as fast as I can, but I still can't catch my breath."

"What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time? Getting all high and mighty"

"Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco."

"The best part of being incompetent to cook and feed myself is that when I travel I am positive I didn't leave the oven on."

"Most people don't act stupid it's the real thing."

"[trying to unhook a bra] *kung fu noises*"