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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an antelope that's really bad at being an antelope? A cantelope."

"Ferguson? What about Fergdudaughter? Must have Asian parents."

"My wife said that my 5 year old gets really hyper because of the sugar he has at breakfast so I think I'll stop putting it in his coffee."

"What did the guy who burglarized the German bakers store at Christmas find out. All of his cookies were Stollen."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... ... Ground up and in the freezer."

"Blind man walks into a bar... And a table, and a chair."

"What did the hobo say to the prostitute? Hey girl, I'd sleep in that box."

"I have a rare mental condition that makes me see a gold next to my submit on reddit Edit: Thanks for the gold!"

"Did you see the guy in Birmingham, Alabama trying to fuck a clock? He heard time was relative."

"Twitter is the only place where you're thrilled when a complete stranger starts following you."