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Joke of the Day

"What did the hobo say to the prostitute? Hey girl, I'd sleep in that box."

"""911, what's your emerg-"" ""The women at work have synced their uteri and it's Hell"" ""Sir uteri is not plural for ute-"" ""TAMPI EVERYWHERE"""

"For the past month I have woken up to find hundreds of flowers with no heads all over my doorstep, garden and drive. I think I'm being stalked."

"No thanks, 28 yr old hitting on me at the bar... With our age difference, I wouldn't be a cougar... more like a saber-toothed tiger."

"What do you call an Irish Jew? A leprechaun!"

"What did the daschund say when he was neutered? Auf weinersehen"

"""And... uh... chocolate kills dogs."" - God puts the finishing touches on life on earth."

"How many babies does it take to paint a barn... ...depends on how hard you throw them"

"How do u kill a blonde paraplegic with one arm hanging from a tree? Wave"

"My girlfriend asked me what color her eyes were today... I responded, ""36C""."