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Joke of the Day

"A black guy with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar... The bartender asks, ""Where'd ya get it?"" The parrot says, ""Africa."" (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)"

"I act like I don't care but deep inside I still don't give a fcuk."

"Where do pens and pencils go on vacation? Pennsylvania"

"Did you hear about the recent theft from the Louvre in Paris? Three paintings were stolen. The thieves took the Renoir to get the Monet to get their Van Gogh."

"Tower: Shamu two-two please state estimated time of arrival. Pilot: Ok let's see... I think Tuesday would be nice..."

"What's the best thing about fucking a pregnant woman? Getting a blowjob at the same time."

"when I talk about computers I make my motherboard"

"When someone is calling with your girlfriend... Take the phone and say: What has little balls, and hangs down? A bat. What has big balls, and hangs up? ...Then hang up the phone x)"

"Divorce court is like regular court except the judge sentences you to freedom."

"I'm about 20% more confident when chewing gum."