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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the recent theft from the Louvre in Paris? Three paintings were stolen. The thieves took the Renoir to get the Monet to get their Van Gogh."

"What do you call a hooker that was shot by a sniper? 360 hoscope"

"[first day on the job as a drug dealer] *giggles* ""We don't have coke, is Pepsi ok?"" *gets stabbed*"

"Little monster: Mom I've finished. Can I leave the table? Mommy monster: Yes I'll save it for your tea."

"Two fish are in a tank one fish looks at the other fish and says... How the fuck do we drive this thing dude?"

"What's bloody and painful and happens once a month? Flossing"

"There's a gay rights group suing the tobacco companies. Because they only sell straight-cut chew."

"In my old age, I am like a fine wine... Fifteen percent alcohol by volume."

"I was once offered a role in a gay porno But in the audition, I blew it"

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak."