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Joke of the Day
"What's the best thing about fucking a pregnant woman? Getting a blowjob at the same time."
Next Joke
"How do you choose a stupid policeman from a group of policemen? At random."
"What's a comedians least favorite drink? Booze"
"You know you have an awesome bra... when you can do the entire Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' song.... with just a slight adjustment of the shoulder straps!"
"A german walks into a bar and orders one martini. The bartender asks: ""Dry?"" The German replies ""No, one you dumbass!"""
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result but I still get up every morning."
"Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, a feather off a hawk and the blood of a unicorn."
"Why do you call an angry bear? A grrrrrrrizzly bear"
"It's going to take 14 years to put Harriet on the $20? I've got a friend in Chesterfield Square who can print some off in an hour.."
"Homeless man: Change please Me: sorry dude I don't have any money on me Homeless man: No, change...That outfit is hideous"