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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.."

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"What do valley girls drink? Soo-Duhh!"
"Absolute Funniest Joke You Have Ever Heard Whether it be racist, sexist, chemistry related, or something else I triple dog dare you to post it."
"Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors."
"Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist."
"My wife and i got along so much better... When we were just brother and sister"
"Q: Why are men like laxatives? A: They irritate the shit out of you."
"Handmade things always seem to sell for extra. Apparently that doesn't apply to semen."
"""I'll shave whoever I want! I'll shave you, I'll shave her! I'll shave a goddamn baby if need be!"" Sean Connery, boasting about his heroism"
"Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!"