187506

Joke of the Day

"My next door neighbour is really loud and obnoxious. So now I know how Canada feels. Well, it's what he would have wanted more."

"A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, ""yes, you are."""

"Meth, because teeth are annoying."

"What did the horse say to the other horse? Hay,I thought you knew horses couldn't speak!"

"My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do... Apparently ""your daughter"" wasn't the right answer."

"Don't spend too much on toilet paper It's all for shit, anyway."

"What is the difference between the abominable snowman and the abominable snowwoman ? Two abominable snowballs"

"I bought a racehorse today and I named him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, ""Come on My Face."""

"My Version Of Flirting! My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive and hoping they're braver than I am."

"I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer: I saw it through my telescope last night."