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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why are men like laxatives? A: They irritate the shit out of you."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? YOUR MOMMA!"

"There was an old woman walking her dog A man came up to her and said that's an ugly pig. The woman replied ""Sir, that's not a pig."" The man said ""I was talking to the dog!"""

"If you could own the entirety of Bill Gates' fortune or solve world hunger,... what color would your Lamborghini be?"

"If I had a dime for every time a homeless person asked for money, I'd still say no. - Bo Burnham."

"Why should you know who is the bride at an Irish wedding? Because that's the one you're *not* allowed to punch in the face."

"Me: So excited for the weekend! Predatory alien in disguise: Same here! Sooo easy to catch, right M: Huh P: The weakened M: What P: What"

"Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married."

"There are 3 types of people in the world... Those who can count and those who can't"

"So did you hear about the cannibal that broke into the gay hospital? At least he's getting his fruits and vegetables now."