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Joke of the Day

"I want to handle the topic of traditional homosexual polygamy Just like my four fathers did"

"Saw a black guy with seven fingers today! Turns out he was eating a kitkat....."

"I'm taking my kid to an aquarium today. (I'm putting my kid in the closet with Sponge Bob videos)"

"I like my women how I like my coffee I don't like coffee."

"What do you do when you are riding on the back of a zebra, right next to a camel, and a lion won't stop chasing you? Get off the carousel, dumb ass. You're drunk."

"I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet. It reminds me of why there is no fucking money in there."

"If I've learned anything from Twitter, it's that you shouldn't be learning on Twitter."

"God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems."

"Protip: If a party guest says ""I don't dance"" what he's really telling you is ""make my drinks stronger please""."

"Who's the biggest slut ever? Mrs. Pacman--for 25 cents that bitch swallowed balls till she died."