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Joke of the Day

"The sexts are coming from inside the house!"

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? Turned into a field."

"Hypothetically, when is the right time to tell your divorce attorney that you've never been married and you love spending time with him?"

"Whats the difference between a lentil and a chikpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"Will smith literally runs in every movie. Name one movie he didn't run in. I'll wait"

"Setting off the security sensor when exiting a store should involve a trap door or at least a big net that scoops the suspect up."

"Know how the iPhone 6+ was invented by men? Only men would call something that measures 5.5 inches, ""six plus"""

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Homophobia is God's way of teaching us the names of Republican governors."

"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West."

"People need to stop posting denigrating photo memes of animals; they have dignity and deserve respect. Oh that's Rick Santorum? Ok carry on."