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Joke of the Day

"Hypothetically, when is the right time to tell your divorce attorney that you've never been married and you love spending time with him?"

"Why is the moon like a dollar? It has four quarters."

"If familiarity breeds contempt and absence makes the heart grow fonder, then by definition marriage is a terrible idea."

"I wonder if lining up beers in my refrigerator will ever stop being exciting."

"Did you hear about the double reed players having sex? They made one hell of a [rackett](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rackett)."

"What are the most common mistakes your ______ makes in bed?"

"Shout out to the top 5 phones, mega, micro, smart, speaker and get off the damn."

"When there's still peanut butter on the knife after a dishwasher run, I just put it in the drawer because that peanut butter is clean."

"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! And my wife has lost 200!"

"What do monkeys drink in space? Orangu-Tang."