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Joke of the Day

"People need to stop posting denigrating photo memes of animals; they have dignity and deserve respect. Oh that's Rick Santorum? Ok carry on."

"Sorry I didn't reply to your text, I just couldn't find a response that would keep you from sending another"

"Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up? He wanted to double his prophets."

"What do you call the group of people with funny outfits that talk about peace and love and stuff Trekkies :)"

"I'm not transphobic, I used to play with toy locomotives all the time!"

"What's long, hard and makes a woman moan when erect? An ironing board."

"What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike? An Ethiopian"

"What do you get when you play country music backwards? You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back."

"If Anne hath a will, Anne Hathaway."

"I laughed at Yoda for hiding in a swamp Then again, he's the only Jedi to ever die from old age Maybe he knew what he was doing after all."