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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the fly on the toilet? He got pissed off."
Next Joke
"Q: who was the world's first carpenter? A: Eve, she made Adam's banana stand!"
"23rd Century Scientist: We're sending you to 1889 to kill baby Hitler. Four words: Stick. To. The. Mission. Henry Ford: Yes, sir."
"your mother's so dumb... ... she thinks asphalt is a disease, and asbestos is the cure."
"I think my ex girlfriend is obsessed with me... I just found a picture of us together in a bin outside her house!"
"Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house? ...the guy likes his power chords too much."
"Fellas, If you kill a spider while you're at her place, congratulations. You will be having sex. P.S. Bring a spider."
"Throwing acid is wrong In some people's eyes..."
"Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside? Because it's Snowden."
"""Welcome, teachers & parents, to our community school assembly"" *gestures to 237 IKEA boxes* ""Let's begin! Who's got the Allen wrench?"""