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Joke of the Day
"What's gambling like in heaven? It's a pair-a-dice."
Next Joke
"Are your parents Laptop memory? Cause you are SO DIMM."
"*opens present HER: What is this? ME: It's The One Ring. I fought orcs for it. HER: They didn't have that Michael Kors bag I showed you?"
"Do you know why Americans think Canadians are so apologetic? It's because every time someone tells us they're American, we say ""oh, sorry."""
"Why do the Romans use more eggs in their omelets than the French? Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many ovum. But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef."
"Celebrating National Sex Day the only way I know how Not having it."
"Three words to ruin a man's ego. ""Is it in?"""
"What did the Mexican say after two houses fell on him? GET OFF ME HOMES!"
"My superpower is predicting the exact day I'll need something that sat idle in a drawer for months so I can throw it away the day before."
"A guy calls his wife to say he's had an accident at the factory He says, ""I got my finger cut off!"" She asks, ""The whole finger?"" He replies, ""No, the one next to it."""