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Joke of the Day

"Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons? Because they keep stepping on the string."

"My kids are young, so when they listen to old school music they think its new. They are currently listening to a hot new band called Queen."

"[Blue whale documentary] This monster can eat 40 million fish in a day. Whale looking directly into the camera: Yeah I'm kind of a foodie."

"I started a diet two weeks ago So far I've lost 14 days"

"What did the holy shit say to the priest? I'm glad I got the hell out of there!"

"When I see people running to catch the elevator I'm on I yell ""HURRY! YOU GOTTA SMELL THIS!""."

"What do you call the hairiest man in the camp? Jewbacca"

"What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon!"

"People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face."

"My 5-year-old niece's twist on an old pirate joke **Question:** Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet? **Answer:** Because his 'I' was all jacked up. *...she cracks me up*"