59778

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon!"

"I always get nervous before injections so I shut my eyes. I usually end up stabbing the chair."

"Me: [walks up to boss] *SLAP* Boss: WTH?! Me: It's Natl Bully Month Boss: No, it's Natl Bully PREVENTION Month! Me: well this is awkward"

"If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that's still a sports injury, right?"

"If the music's too loud you're too old."

"An unemployed engineer opens a clinic... He soon goes out of business, since the field is over saturated due to all the unemployed engineers opening clinics recently."

"I probably shouldn't have done ecstasy before work but oh my god the HR lady feels sooooo nice"

"Buying a new car and online dating are sort of the same thing... You're looking for the youngest model with the least amount of miles on it."

"When the sun explodes you will have eight minutes before the world ends. In a related story, you might want to order dessert now."

"People say cannibals are disgusting human beings But this one tastes pretty good"