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Joke of the Day

"My favorite word is plagiarism. I invented that word."

"Here's another pizza delivery joke Actually, you'll get it in 30-45 minutes."

"Who won the first Tour de France? The Panzer SS 1st Division"

"Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago."

"What's a Pedophile's favorite brand of shoe? White Vans"

"A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest turns to the rabbi and says, ""Hey, did you hear the one about us doing this?"""

"I had sex with my teacher yesterday... God damn it feels good to be homeschooled."

"Doc: You have gallstones Me: Ugh. Doc: You can control it with diet. Me: Great! Doc: No chocolate, cheese, fried foods... Me: Take it out."

"How does a tornado tell the time? It checks the tornado watch."

"me: just tell me I don't die in an Arby's bathroom stall Death: [sadly looking up from his book] look, what matters is how you lived"