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Joke of the Day

"Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago."

"Someone asked me if I like fish balls. I don't know, I've never attended one."

"What's green, slimey and smells like pork? Kermit's finger."

"My moods don't just swing - they bounce, pivot, recoil, rebound, oscillate, fluctuate and occasionally pirouette."

"Why can't Jesus eat m&ms? they keep falling through. If you aren't offended. Swap out black Jesus and skittles. Happy Easter."

"How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid."

"Nothing turns me on more than listening to a woman discussing her diet & what she ate today. Except for everything else in the entire world."

"What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop!"

"Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet? Because his pythons were sick"

"Elephants being eliminated from Ringling Brothers performances. Did you hear the elephants are being eliminated from Ringling Brothers performances. They were told to pack their trunks."