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Joke of the Day

"Cinco de Mayo jokes, eh? Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff? TEQUILA!"

"Why did the wine critic get kicked off the nudist beach? Because he was wandering around with a semillon. (best when read out loud)"

"Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins? It was asbestos they could do at the time!"

"I just realized Alaska has some really weird city names Did Juneau that?"

"""Mrs. Doubtfire"" is my favorite movie about a messy custody battle that gives way to horribly illegal and creepy transgendered stalking."

"I hate pedophiles. Those guys are fucking immature assholes."

"I saved a girl from getting Raped today ........... i changed my mind."

"I saw a front page post today about a woman who hasn't experienced a period in 15 years. That's one long sentence."

"If a man tells you he'll fix it, he will fix it. There is no need to incessantly remind him about it every 5 to 6 months."

"If you're happy and you know it, thank your ex."