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Joke of the Day

"I saw a front page post today about a woman who hasn't experienced a period in 15 years. That's one long sentence."

"How has the guy who makes Capri Sun straw openings not been up for a job performance review?"

"Take it easy, guy who posts 10,000 pics of his baby on Facebook. We get it already. You got laid once."

"Oldie but a goodie Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa."

"Why did the basement want to be a high rise? It was a motivated cellar. :|"

"I bought a pair of shoes off my drug dealer... And they must have been laced with something, cause I've been tripping all day."

"If you take an Asian man and spin him around 3 times... Does he become disoriented?"

"What did the U.S airdrop the the children of Syria? Dead parents"

"A mexican is on your front lawn bleeding out and calling for help. what do you do? Reload."

"Why can't you suck air through your fist while bobbing your head back and forth? ;}"