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Joke of the Day

"I hate pedophiles. Those guys are fucking immature assholes."

"Fun Fact: Cats call their pussies ""people"""

"Singin' in the Rain is a beloved Oscar-winning classic, but singin' on the train will get you harsh stares and a six seater all to yourself."

"I accidently mixed up some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover Ever since I've had a rash of good luck..."

"My towel is now in two pieces, rip. Rip, your parents' condom XD"

"Don't fall in love. You will get feelings and die."

"Stop saying ""I Wish"" and start saying ""I Will""."

"Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital? The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home."

"Sometimes I worry that pizza isn't a real sport"

"The other day I walked up to a homeless person. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'I thought you were homeless!'"