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Joke of the Day

"What's a neckbeard's favorite country? M'laysia"

"Did you hear about the blind rabbi after the briss? He got the sack..."

"[gynecologist making small talk during an exam] DOCTOR: So you're in the military? HER: Yes DOCTOR: Well thank you for your cervix"

"sometimes when i'm doing my taxes i'm like maybe prison would be easier"

"Oh, your pet loves you more than anyone else? No shit, if you controlled when I ate I'd be obsessed with you too."

"The Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and be awarded eternal life"" John came fifth and was awarded a toaster"

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Cock full o' nuts."

"I went to see a night of XXX short films! Imagine my disappointment when it was just 30 Roman movies."

"What do you call a monster with two wooden heads? Edward Woodward."

"What's the difference between an inaccurate hunter and a constipated owl? One's a shooter that can't hit, the other is a hooter who can't shit."