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Joke of the Day

"[gynecologist making small talk during an exam] DOCTOR: So you're in the military? HER: Yes DOCTOR: Well thank you for your cervix"

"There are two rules for success... 1. Never reveal everything that you know."

"My wife refused to do anal. She said she had a Boo-T-I."

"There are two kinds of people... Those who can't finish other peoples sentences..."

"Why'd the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong pair of socks."

"The heart is a barefoot child that keeps running in and out of traffic."

"The more complex the handshake, the less complex the individual."

"3 men in a boat with 4 cigarettes but no way to light them. What do they do? Throw one cigarette away and the boat becomes one cigarette lighter."

"They say 1 in 5 people now live next door to a child molester. Can you believe that?? We'll not me, I live next to 2 smokin' hot 12 year olds!"

"Spelling error to avoid: ""Biden"" is the name of the Vice President, ""bidet"" is your butt-washer."