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Joke of the Day

"I wrote a poem. I dig. You dig. She digs. He digs. They dig. We dig. Now I know it's not a very good poem, but it's pretty deep."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? The victims of 9-11 they went through 97 stories in 10 seconds."

"Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup? Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper."

"What do you call a train when it's eating? A Chew-Chew Train! Side note, I have cheesy jokes for days."

"In A Error At 99% Completed Understanding A Girl: . . . This Is Like Downloading A 4GB File. At The Speed Of 2kbps. Which Ends Up.. In A Error At 99% Completed!"

"""How'd you die?"" ""I got shot trying to save my fellow soldiers lives in war. You?"" ""I got trampled trying to save on a flat screen"" ""Oh.."""

"Yeah, no, I don't have a FitBit. I'm pretty sure I have a solid grasp on how inactive I am. I don't need like bells and alarms and stuff."

"A man goes to join the navy Instructor- Do you know how to swim? Man-wait...they don't provide ships?"

"What's the difference between a DVD player and a cow's anus? If you answered 'I don't know,' I'm certainly not letting you borrow any of **my** DVDs in the future!"

"Dear ladies who wear black tights and red shoes: Please stop. Minnie Mouse is not a style icon for grown women. Love, M"