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Joke of the Day

"Didn't realize how much motherhood had changed me until I army crawled in & out of my sleeping baby's room to get my 1/2 cup of cold coffee."

"Q: How do you picture yourself flying on a broom? A: By witchful thinking."

"Life Advice Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

"It's going to be a busy couple of months for Caitlyn Jenner Mothers' Day and then Fathers' Day"

"How do you become a kleptomaniac? You pick it up from other people"

"Thor, upon his mighty steed, approaches his enemy, Thanos. Thanos asks ""Who might you be?"" ""I AM THORRRR!!!"" His horse perks up and says ""Well, then wear a thaddle thilly."""

"According to every 80s movie ever, the only way to get home from school is by standing up in the back of a Jeep Wrangler with 5 other people"

"One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast."

"Try this one crazy trick to get people to click on things! See. It worked."

"What do you call 4 lepers in a hot tub? soup"