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Joke of the Day

"One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast."

"What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons? Hose a and hose b"

"I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ""How flexible are you?"" I said, ""I can't make Tuesdays."

"How do Eskimo fleas stay warm? A flea's blanket."

"When my girlfriend caught me cheating I told her I got HACKED but she didn't believe me. I guess that only works on Facebook."

"[Restaurant] Me: I know in your profile it said you were small but I didn[my date falls into her soup]"

"Did you guys ever hear my joke about Ebola virus? It's a gut buster!"

"Why did a Hispanic man rob a train? He had loco motives!"

"When I saw grown ups in public kissing I'd ask my mom, ""What are they doing?"" Now I wonder the same thing."

"The kids wanted the Zero Gravity Laser Racer, a toy car that follows a laser. I handed them a flashlight and pointed at the cat."