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Joke of the Day

"Life Advice Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

"Where do all them scrub gamers live? Pleblos"

"What idiot called it the ""Happy Birthday"" song instead of New Age music"

"I am married to 4 different women And it's bigamy to admit it."

"When I was a kid, I asked my dad where babies come from. He said, ""The fridge! You should go see if there's one in there now! If there isn't, bring me a beer!"""

"When your parents held you as a baby for the first time, they secretly hoped you'd end up arguing with strangers on a celebrity's Instagram."

"[Walks up to stranger] Me: ""Excuse me, would you take my picture?"" Him: ""Sure."" Me: ""Great!"" [I hand him a beautiful 5x7 portrait of me]"

"Teach a man to phish and he'll pretend he's a Nigerian businessman."

"My nickname is Snapchat.... My nickname is Snapchat because I only last 5 seconds and then disappear forever."

"I like my women how I like my wine 12 years old and locked in my cellar"