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Joke of the Day

"According to every 80s movie ever, the only way to get home from school is by standing up in the back of a Jeep Wrangler with 5 other people"

"Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch."

"What do you call a midget psychic that broke out of prison? A small medium at large!"

"Spain are blaming their loss this evening on the weather. Apparently it was 2 Chile."

"Writing a good suicide note is hard, especially if you don't know that person's handwriting."

"I wondered what my parents did to kill boredom before the internet. I mean, I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and none of them had a clue."

"How is a good criminal defense lawyer like a dead hooker? I use them both to get off."

"Algebra must have trouble letting go of past relationships... ...it always wants people to find it's x."

"Why aren't there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones' Locker? Dead men sell no snails!"

"What do vegetarian worms eat?? Linda Mcartney"