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Joke of the Day

"Now that they found water on #Mars, how long before they bottle it & sell it at Whole Foods for $19?"

"Doctor doctor I keep trying to get into fights. And how long have you had this complaint? Who wants to know?"

"I work as a dishwasher, Its a pretty dishgusting job."

"When CNN says they're ""breaking news"" they are, in a sense, right."

"Office Scare Prank"

"How did the hipster drown? By swimming in the main stream."

"Last night I went out drinking with some high school friends. About 2 hours into it they were like... ""Dude, shouldn't you be hanging out with people your own age?"""

"A man has dinner at a chinese restaurant The man says to the chef: ""Gee, this steak is rubbery!"" And the chef replies ""thank you very much!"""

"Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: ""We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."""

"My wife and I were extremely happy for 20 years ....and then we met."