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Joke of the Day

"In 1940 Goebbels made a speech... Proclaiming that the Swastika was an example of the Golden Ratio. Turns out it was a fibbin' Nazi..."

"The preacher today used Star Wars as a sermon illustration. I felt it was a little forced."

"This guy gave me the weridest look when i flushed his urinal for him, It's like people have no concept of manners anymore"

"*Puts on apron* *Places Pop Tarts on plate* *Removes apron*"

"10 years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me! She said no both times. ( )"

"b-52's songs: -'love shack' -'hate shed' -'sad tent' -'happy igloo' -'frustrated RV' -'depression garage' -'melancholy lake house'"

"Why do they call it a non-sequitur? Riot gear."

"The first rule of denial club is I can stop anytime I want."

"No officer the joke's on you. That breathalyzer will never tell you how much acid I dropped tonight."

"My wife is breaking up with me because of my masturbation addiction... Boy do I feel like a big jerk."