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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend caught me masturbating to Michael Jackson. She asked what I was doing I told her to beat it."
"A general reads War and Peace another soldier asked him how he liked it ""liked the first half, hated the second. "" he said"
"What song did Taylor Swift write about Magic Johnson? Bad Blood."
"Why are Gametes good at marketing? Sex cells!"
"[picking a career as a kid] I just want to do something that matters [many years and jobs later] Oh right nothing matters"
"[firing squad] Any last requests? ""Here's my mixtape, if u like it, will u let me live?"" Yes. *listens* Oh man that's FIRE *gunshots*"
"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh, I have that vinyl at home."
"When the grid crashes and there's no other way of communicating, we'll see whose drum circle is ""stupid""."
"I've said it before and I'll say it again I've said it before"