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Joke of the Day

"Just once I'd like to see a celebrity show up to the red carpet in jeans and be like, ""Oh, was this today? I was just in the neighborhood."""

"If a guy says he can't feel anything while wearing a condom... Ask him if he can feel the money being sucked out of his paycheck for the next 18 years"

"You know what the last thing I said last year was? One!"

"Did you hear about the obese woman who got a job at a bank? She was a four-chin teller."

"...we came in"" Roger Waters favourite line is ""Is this where..."

"I came very close to death last night. I had a wank in a graveyard."

"why did my wife didn't like her jewellery? cuz she is a nazi"

"What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxi cabs! Got this from a joke book my niece got for Christmas. Most of them were groaners but this one actually made me laugh!"

"What do pennies and fat chicks have in common? Unless you're broke and desperate, they're not worth picking up."

"What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ? An alarm cluck !"